


OBGYN Hell

by Akiruchan, DisgruntledMinion



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, I promise, It's all wonderful crack, M/M, Naruto is a doctor, Sakura is evil, Sasuke is scared of lady parts...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 00:56:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7736827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiruchan/pseuds/Akiruchan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisgruntledMinion/pseuds/DisgruntledMinion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasuke didn't think anything good could come of being forced to escort Sakura to her Obstetrician appointment; thank goodness Dr. Uzumaki is more than happy to save Sasuke from this hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	OBGYN Hell

**Author's Note:**

> I have nothing to say... I not even sure what inspired this. Re-uploaded from Y!gallery.

A silver car sped down the highway in the middle of the warm spring day. Dark eyes glared out the window as the scenery flashed by and eyebrows furrowed as a big green exit sign declared the name, ' _Municipal Hospital_ '.

Sasuke heaved a sigh as the car moved onto the exit ramp, slowing down considerably as a traffic light came into view. The light had just changed red and cars were already moving through the crossing intersection.

He waited until the car came to a complete stop before yanking at the door handle and throwing all his weight on the car's door. It didn't budge and once again, Sasuke shot a glare at the driver.

"Did you hit the child proof lock?"

A smile played on the slender feminine face, green eyes shifted quickly to the passenger's seat. "I told you I wouldn't let you back out of this," Sakura stated. "Not my fault you promised me you'd come." The again it was her fault that she didn't elaborate on where exactly Sasuke would be escorting her.

It was only last week that she had found out she was pregnant. As excited as Sakura had been, she was also slightly nervous about the sudden change her life was taking. It didn't help that her husband was current overseas leaving her alone to fend for herself. Luckily, she had Sasuke, who she had known all throughout high school and college. He was like a brother to her and would no doubt be her pillar of strength through this ordeal.

So naturally, when Sakura had made her first appoint to the obstetrician she made sure that Sasuke would be beside her as she went. It just took a little deception and twisting of words to finally get him to consent. Sakura felt slightly bad for tricking him, but as she watched him practically clawing at her windows she felt the amusement alone was well worth it.

Sasuke's arms crossed on his chest and he leaned back in the chair. He refused to sulk as it was below him, but dammit, this wasn't what he had been expecting when Sakura had called him last week. He wouldn't have been bothered to help with anything else, but it just had to be this of all things.

He turned towards her and shot her a glare, even though she had long ago grown used to them. "You owe me. I will send you a bill of the things that I demand in compensation for this," he growled as the car started to move again.

"Yeah, yeah." Sakura brushed the threat off, knowing it was as empty as his glare. If anything, she would take him out next week to lunch as a thank you. Maybe at that new Italian bistro down on main. She had heard they served the best-stuffed tomatoes.

The car took a quick right down a side road with towering buildings on each side. Sakura looked quickly back towards the MapQuest directions she had printed out and then taped to her dashboard. The office should be right up ahead. It was apparently new and with one of the best doctors in his field. Only the best for her baby after all.

It didn't take her long to find a parking space; a miracle considering how crowded it was. Sakura placed an overly pleased smile on her face and looked towards Sasuke.

"Ready?" She asked.

"No," Sasuke grunted and stayed in the car as Sakura climbed out. He glared at the building and then turned to the side as Sakura opened his door. She leaned over him and unclipped the seat belt, despite his struggling. "I'm not moving from this car."

Sakura gave him a look that clearly showed she was unconvinced. "You wouldn't really force a woman in a delicate state such as mine to force a grown man out of a car, would you?" She fluttered her eyelashes for extra measure and looked down to the dirty asphalt.

Sasuke turned towards her and gave her a look that clearly showed he didn't feel threatened by her comment nor did he feel any guilt about hurting her 'delicate state'. "I'd like to see you try."

"Oh I'm sure you'd like to see me try." The look on her face turned from a pout to down right scary in a second. Sakura squared she shoulders and planted the heel of her Stilettos into the rough parking lot floor. "I'm giving you one last chance Uchiha to get you pale ass out of this car right now, or so help me god I will move it for you!"

She took Sasuke's silence as a no, not really surprised by his answer, or lack thereof. With speed Sasuke didn't see coming, Sakura hooked her hand around the back collar of the black button up that Sasuke wore. She tugged fiercely, her other hand going for the fabric covering his thigh. Sakura pulled, forcing her friend out of the car and face first into the asphalt. Teach him to ever defy her again.

"Now I will ask you once again. Are you fucking ready? Because I seriously don't want to have to drag you across this parking lot." Sakura glared down at Sasuke who still hadn't moved much.

Sasuke's hand twitched next to Sakura's pant leg and he grabbed the material, yanking at it harshly. His head tilted up and he winced as his leg twisted in the strap of the seat belt. "Your child will never receive a present from me," he growled and pulled his leg free.

Standing up, he slammed the car door shut and brushed off the dirt and gravel from his body. Once he was finished, he looked back to Sakura and bowed, gesturing widely with his hand. "After you."

Sakura smiled brightly, knowing full well she had won this little battle. "Why thank you." The walk to the doctor’s office was a quiet one with Sakura casting glances over her shoulder from time to time. She was half expecting Sasuke to bolt across the parking lot and the four-lane street before escaping. Amazingly he did have some form of survival instinct within him and stayed meekly behind her.

"It's not going to be that bad," Sakura said. "Think of it as one small step towards recovery! Maybe soon I can actually get you to come over and go swimming without having to wear that over sized T-shirt."

The front door slid open as they approached and Sasuke gagged at the smell of chemicals that brushed over them. He considered turning and bolting, but Sakura chose that time to glance over her shoulder and he stomped after her.

He flung himself down into a seat as Sakura walked up to the front desk and grabbed a clipboard from the woman behind the counter. His eyes scanned the room, noting the various models that sat on the window ledges and he felt his stomach churn.

Sakura came and sat next to him, filling out the paper. He tried to listen to her, hoping that she could distract him until he finally realized what she was saying.

"Stop reading that out loud," he hissed. "You know I don't like hearing about your...your...that time when you become a bitch once a month."

The pen hit Sasuke lightly on the head, giving him the message to shut up. Sakura could only put up with his own bitching for so long. She was quickly reaching her limit. "Sasuke just cool it. Read a magazine or something. Just stop flipping out, you're making me nervous." She nibbled the pen's top for a moment, realized exactly what she was doing and made a sour face. Not wanting to know exactly what germs she'd just contracted, Sakura went back to filling out the form; silently this time.

"Read a magazine, she says," Sasuke muttered to himself and glanced over the covers that rested on the table in front of him. He turned away a moment later, choosing instead to close his eyes. At least with his eyes closed, he wouldn't have to see all the pictures that made his stomach churn.

Sakura scrawled her signature at the bottom of the page and went to get up. "I'll be right back." She whispered towards a Sasuke who seemed to be lost in his own little happy place. Well whatever worked, she supposed.

The woman at the counter smiled, handing back her driver's license and insurance card that they had taken copies of. "We'll call you once the doctor is ready to see you." Sakura nodded and went back to her seat.

She almost laughed when she saw Sasuke. His eyes were still closed with the oddest beginnings of a smile on his face. Deciding to be mischievous, Sakura took her seat leaning over to whisper into Sasuke's ear; she made sure her boobs pressed gently into his shoulder as she did so.

"What're you thinking about?" Sakura asked, her voice hushed with false seduction.

Sasuke bolted out of his seat as soon as he realized what had been resting on his shoulder. Without thought, he scrambled over the low wooden table that had been set in the waiting room, leaving a footprint on the magazines. He spun around and pointed a finger at Sakura. "That was low!"

She laughed at his reaction and Sasuke climbed over the chairs until there was a table and a row of uncomfortable chairs between them. He hunched over and gripped the top of the chair, peering at Sakura from afar, only his eyes and nose visible to her. He was sure he looked like a little kid, but he was past caring at this point.

Sakura was about to laugh out right and make a less than mature comment, but the monotonous calling of her name halted such ideas.

"Haruno, Sakura." The nurse called again, his lazy eye looking between the two friends.

"Here! That's me." Sakura called, hurrying over to grab Sasuke as she made her way towards the male nurse.

Sasuke gagged as Sakura yanked him away from his safe spot. "Harassment!" he stated and rubbed his neck where his shirt had choked him.

The nurse looked at him and smirked. "My name is Kakashi. I'll be running through all the procedures before the doctor sees you," his turned towards Sasuke. "You're welcome to come along with your wife of course."

Sputtering, Sasuke backed quickly. "She is not my wife!" his thoughts turned cheerful. "So this means that I can't join her right? All that patient confidentiality crap."

Kakashi shook his head. "That would be up to Mrs. Haruno. But most women like support the first time."

"And that's why he's here! That's what friends are for, supporting their friends in their time of need. Right Sasuke?" Sakura replied with just as much cheerfulness as Sasuke had held moments ago.

"But what about my time of need?" Sasuke muttered as he was led down the hallway. He kept his eyes glued to the floor, not wanting to see something that would make him hurl. A grunt escaped him when he ran into Sakura and he looked up, realizing that they had stopped outside the room.

"Have a seat on the examining table," Kakashi said, pulling out his stethoscope. He glanced towards Sasuke. "I'm going to be asking Mrs. Haruno to change soon, if you'd like to wait outside for a bit. I'll get you when we're ready again."

Sasuke nodded and bolted from the room, glad to be free of the confining area. He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and shuffled down the hallway in search of a vending machine. A cold bottle of water would do him some good right now; although alcohol would probably be better.

He poked around carefully, sighing in relief when he found one and slid a dollar into the machine. After picking his drink, he grabbed it from the small flap and made his way back to the room slowly. He really didn't want to be here; really, really didn't want to be here.

Knowing Sakura, she found great humor in this, but from Sasuke's view, it wasn't very funny. He rubbed his eyes, as though trying to get the image of everything he had seen so far out of his mind. Seriously, nothing good could come out this.

Sasuke turned a corner, trying to find his way back to the correct room and froze when a dash of blond caught his eye. He backtracked and peered around the corner, looking through the open door of an office and silently eyed the man sitting there.

He was just about to think that good things do come to those who try, when the door was slammed shut and he was face to face with a poster diagramming the details of pregnancy. He blanched and wheeled away from the door, stupid doctor wasn't that hot anyway.

Grumbling, he found his way back to the correct room and leaned against the wall, closing his eyes once more. Nothing could hurt him if he couldn't see it.

A few moments later Kakashi waltzed out of the exam room, leaving the door ajar behind him. "You can come back in now. The doctor will be with y'all shortly." The last part was added to Sakura who sat neatly in her paper dress upon the table.

Sasuke shook his head when he saw Sakura sitting on the table calmly. "No. I can't. I refuse to enter that room with her and all those posters of female parts."

Kakashi grinned at him and turned his head so he was facing a poster. "That one there is called a vagina," he stated, a laughing tone in his voice and he pushed him forward. "In you go."

The door slammed shut behind Sasuke and he wheeled around. The urge to claw at the door like an animal was rearing its head but Sasuke kept himself in check and crossed over to a vacant chair. "I want to go home."

"You will, eventually." Sakura watched as her friend visibly deflated in his chair. It was funny yet sad how a man as strong and determined as Sasuke was brought to the level of a simpering child in the face of female genitalia. "I'll let you order that gay porno you wanted to watch on demand when we get back. Okay? Just behave." All tenderness left her tone with the last warning statement. 

While the bribe was only tempting, Sasuke found that being in a small room surrounded by female genitalia was too much and he couldn't even think straight. He would behave, but he wouldn't like it and he would make sure that Sakura would suffer once this was over.

Grunting, he looked at his watch, figuring that it was the only safe place to look. When was this doctor going to get here anyway?

"You know the only way to get over a fear is to face it right?" Despite her teasing, Sakura really was trying to help her friend. It was something he had once done for her, pushing her to take a step out of her shy shell and become the woman she was today. Sakura would push him too, even if it meant putting him a situation that clearly unsettled him.

"Yes but there are gradual steps that you can take. This was not the right way to do it, at least ease me into it or something." Sasuke leaned back in the chair, closing his eyes once more. He knew, that just any second now, a female doctor was going to come into the room and start talking girl. He was going to hurl.

"Yes, because you were so making progress when I had tried doing it the slow way. I still can't show cleavage around you!" Sakura huffed and looked towards a poster showing the growth of a human fetus.

Sasuke grunted. "And you think throwing me into a room full of the female reproductive organs is going to magically make things better for me? Give me a guy to stare at and maybe you'll see some results."

"Well they haven't attacked you yet, and you certainly haven't keeled over." Sakura paused, frowning for a moment. "Also you popping a tent is not the sort of results I want to see."

"I don't think I'd be able to get it up with all these _lovely_ little pictures surrounding me. Even if he was drop dead sexy."

Sakura watched him skeptically for a moment. "So you're telling me that if Mr. Sex on legs, Adonis, gift to all woman... and mankind were to walk into this room... at this very moment, you wouldn't be rock hard where you sit before begging him to fuck your brains out?"

Sasuke thought about it for a second. "Maybe if you covered my eyes so I couldn't see anything, then yes. But if I have to look at these pictures while he's in the room, no. It's the biggest erection killer ever."

"Funny, in normal men they tend to be the biggest erection givers. I guess there is an odd duck in every flock." Sakura would have said more but the knob to the door began to jiggle and she steeled herself over for the examination to come. Quickly she gave a warning glance to Sasuke, who was still sitting there looking dumbly at... her shoes? Sakura didn't care so long as he was quiet.

The door opened, revealing a man Sakura would have guessed to be a Baywatch star far before a doctor. His hair looked at if it had been bleached by sun, just as much as his skin has been tanned by it. He flashed her a smile, and quickly introduced himself as Dr. Naruto Uzumaki.

Sakura resisted the urge to be childish and ask Sasuke if he could get hard looking at this fine specimen before her, but thought better of it. Not to mention Sasuke was still refusing to look up.

"Well, Mrs. Haruno..." Naruto paused, looking over towards the man who sat quietly in the corner looking lost to the world. "And Mr. Haruno, what can I do for you today?"

Sasuke's head snapped up. "Do not call me that! I am not her wife and I did not knock her up, didn't your annoying little nurse friend tell you that?" he paused in his rant as his eyes finally took in the male doctor before him. He immediately remembered the blond haired doctor from earlier and he cleared his throat softly. "I'm here for moral support."

Sakura quickly spoke up after the outburst, trying to make some sort of amends to the doctor. "So sorry Dr. Uzumaki. You see my friend here seems to get cranky when he gets pegged for a heterosexual." She laughed the whole thing off with the wave of her hand.

If possible Naruto turned to Sasuke flashing him an even brighter smile then he had given Sakura. "Oh I see. Then let me apologize for my assumptions Mr.…” He let the sentence fall, hoping for an answer to his unasked question.

"Uchiha. Sasuke Uchiha," Sasuke answered, finally pulling his gaze away from Naruto. His eyes settled on a nearby poster and it instantly washed away the lust that was racing through him and he sighed. Now he could focus a little better instead of trying to find out more about the doctor. "How long is this going to take, doctor?"

Naruto seemed to mull over the question for a bit. "Not too long. Today is mostly for test and some talking. First I just need to ask you some quick questions Mrs. Haruno and then we'll go from there." Naruto's blue eyes finally moved from Sasuke's hunched form towards Sakura who sat happily on the table.

Clipboard in hand and pen at the ready, Naruto began listing off questions and scribbling down answers as Sakura talked. "Any symptoms as of yet, besides the missed period?"

Sakura nodded her head, explaining the dizzy spell she had experienced the day prior and the small bout of morning sickness. Naruto wrote down his final bit of information and placed the clipboard to the side.

"You sound pregnant so far." Naruto joked, getting up from his sitting position and walking towards the cabinet of the sink. "But first let’s get some test done so I can tell you that for sure." Sakura watched as Naruto pulled out a plastic wrapped cup and brought it over, handing it to his female patient.

"I just need a urine sample, and then well go from there." He pointed towards a door that led to a conjoined bathroom, and Sakura walked off and through the door without a second glance back.

Once Sakura left the room, Sasuke turned towards the doctor. "So, a male obstetrician, how's that work out?" he asked, slightly curious. He was always under the impression that females were obstetricians. His eyes flickered over the other male, wondering the mans sexual orientation. "I'm sure your girlfriend or wife loves your job."

Laughter filled the room for a moment, dying away the next. Naruto looked at Sasuke, amusement shining in his eyes. "Now that is a loaded question isn't it." He gave Sasuke a pointed look, and then said, "Let's just say it's better than being a Urologist. Not to mention the pregnant female amazes me, the miracle of life... ya know?"

There was silence for a moment as Naruto wondered how to exactly answer the last question. Settling on his response he spoke, smirk playing across his lips. "Can't say how my girlfriend would feel about it, never had one of those." Naruto shrugged, leaving it at that.

Sasuke grunted, cheeks flushed at being laughed at. "You know what I'm talking about," he paused and made sure his words were phrased properly this time. "What's a Urologist and how is it worse than being an obstetrician?" He watched Naruto carefully as the man looked back at him and it was only then that the rest of Naruto's words sunk in, but he wasn't about to ask any more questions than needed right now.

Naruto resisted the urge to laugh again. "A Urologist is pretty much your male version of a gynecologist. They make sure everything is healthy and okay down yonder. When your work calls for you to look at sexual organs on a daily basis, you tend to see some scarring and disturbing plumbing if you get my drift. Sorta turns you off from wanting to mess around with other peoples junk. So, I thought to play it safe and..." Whatever more Naruto was going to say was cut off as Sakura finally emerged from the bathroom, blushing and holding the now filled cup.

"All done?" Sakura nodded, handing off the test sample. Naruto took it and proceeded to the door. "I'll hand this off to be tested, and be back in a second to take some blood and do a few more tests." He was soon out of the room once again, leaving Sasuke alone with Sakura.

Sasuke turned to Sakura once the door shut. "You took too long to pee, you're not drinking enough liquids."

He smirked at her, noting the red grow on her face and allowed himself to drift off into his own thoughts. He was excited, even though he didn't show it as he thought over Naruto's words. The man had dropped a few hints about his sexual preference, unless he could never find himself a girlfriend before, but that was highly unlikely. 

Finally, he turned back to Sakura. "You know, I think I might enjoy this visit after all."

A delicately trimmed eyebrow rose at Sasuke's words. Sakura was unsure if she had heard that right, and more importantly what the hell had happened to give Sasuke such a quick change of heart. "You're not turning straight on me are you?" She asked slightly worried. Maybe this trip had traumatized him a bit too much.

"Hell would freeze over before that happens," Sasuke answered smoothly. "But, I'm starting to think that your lovely doctor leans a little to the side."

Sakura blinked owlishly. "Seriously? What gave you that idea?" She should have known that that any good looking male that walked her way was gay, Sasuke was a perfect example of that. How she managed to find herself a husband was beyond her. Although she wouldn't be half surprised if he came home one day declaring his lover for the male sex.

"You said it yourself, usually these pictures and this job would give a man an erection and seeing as he hasn't sported one yet..." Sasuke let the sentence trail off and allowed it to roll around in Sakura's mind before continuing. "Also, he said he hasn't had a girlfriend before and there's no way that a girl has never approached him before to ask him out."

"Could be asexual. Or maybe he had a traumatizing experience as an intern. Got up close and personal with some smelly vag." Sakura flipped a piece of strawberry blond hair behind he shoulders, keeping the piece from interfering with the intense look she was currently giving Sasuke.

"Please don't dampen my hopes," Sasuke stated, refusing to beg. He was really hoping that Naruto wasn't into women and the thought had crossed his mind that he might be asexual; after all, he was fairly certain that Itachi was and he had both genders after him. "If not, allow me to at least hope. I should get something nice after being dragged to this hell hole."

"As you wish, dream away." And Sakura was quiet for the rest of their wait. It took slightly longer for Naruto to come back in, a female nurse in tow.

"Sorry to keep y'all waiting." Naruto apologized, setting what Sasuke realized was a needle and tubes for drawing blood. "Couldn't find my nurse, so I had to borrow Hinata here." He motioned towards the dark haired nurse who smiled sweetly.

"Well then let's get this party moving." Naruto came to stand between Sakura and Sasuke looking between the two. "First off I'm just going to be taking a few blood samples, no biggy. Although after that comes the not so fun part. You'll be given a pap smear and I'll check to make sure your uterus is growing properly. Both may be uncomfortable, but I'll be gentle and quick."

Sakura just nodded, looking uncertainly to Sasuke.

Sasuke blanched at Naruto's words. There was no way that he could sit through something like that. He was fine with drawing blood and needles didn't make him nauseous; he'd given enough blood in the past to know that. But to be in the same room with Sakura during that time was bad enough.

"How's that uh, going to work?" he asked as the blood was being drawn.

"Well..." Naruto began, completely ignoring the frantic looks Sakura was giving both Sasuke and himself. "A Pap Smear is a test to check for cervical cancer. It's very simple really. I'll use a nifty little device to widen your friend’s vaginal opening so I can get a look at her cervix. After that I just have to insert another special tool and scrape off some cells and get those tested." Naruto finished rather excitedly.

Sasuke's hands curled around the chair handles tighter as Naruto continued to talk, feeling his breathing become heavier. It wouldn't work, there was no way he would be able to date Naruto if this was his job; he seemed to love it a little too much. Naruto continued to talk but the words were drowned out by a roaring sound in his ears and black started to creep into his vision. The last thing he remembered seeing was the floor growing closer to his face before he completely blacked out.

Naruto jumped forward just in time to save Sasuke from a nasty crash to the floor. Hinata yelped in the back, surprise and worry written all over her face. Sakura seemed to be the only one un-phased in the room. She merely sighed, shaking her head. Something told her that she should have seen this coming.

"Sasuke!" Naruto was looking at the man slightly worried, while he gently slapped his cheeks. "Does he have a medical history of this?" Naruto turned to question Sakura who rolled her eyes.

"He's Eurotophobic," Sakura explained. "All the Pap Smear talk must have been too much for him." She clucked in disappointment. Sakura really had thought he could make it out of this without an incident; she probably should have known better.

"Seriously?" Naruto looked towards his patient, not fully believing what he was hearing.

Sakura only nodded, looking far too tired. It was about time for this day to end.

Looking around the room quickly, Naruto picked Sasuke up into his arms. "Hinata, go get Kakashi. Have him finish up with the tests. I'll be back for the final consult." The petite nurse hurried from the room without a sound.

"Where are you taking him?" Naruto paused at the question, turning back to give Sakura a bright smile.

"To another exam room that won't give him a heart attack." He motioned to the posters on the wall. "We can keep him safe and happy there till it's okay for you to go."

Sakura sighed, happy that something seemed to going right. At least now this whole thing could be taken care of and done. "Take care of him then. He won't be too happy when he wakes." He warned, waving Naruto off.

Naruto nodded to her, swooping out of the room the next moment, leaving her alone with her thoughts.

\--------------------------

Groaning, Sasuke blinked and slowly opened his eyes, only to clench them shut at the bright light above him. His head pounded and he could hear his heartbeat in his ears. Cautiously, he opened one eye, taking in the white light. Maybe he died from a heart attack?

He turned his head away from the bright light and his eyes adjusted to the room around him, slowly focusing on a normal wall with a sink next to it. He blinked again as everything came into focus and he sat up.

"Fuck my head hurts. Sakura better not have punched me," he muttered.

"Trust me, you almost had it hurting a lot more. It's not the safest thing to go around fainting on people." Someone spoke from beside Sasuke.

Sasuke's head whipped to the side and he instantly regretted it as his head started to pound even more. He hissed and grabbed his head, trying to stop the world from spinning around again. "I couldn't help it," he mumbled. "She tossed me into a room straight out of a nightmare and then the doc started talking evil."

"Well if I had known you were Eurotophobic, I would have had you sit outside. It's beyond me why you would even get yourself into a situation like this." Naruto poked Sasuke playfully in the shoulder. "Although I think you should be safe in here. This room was recently renovated and we're just now moving stuff back in. Just don't scrutinize the place too much and you'll be good."

Sasuke stood up quickly from the table, only to wobble backwards onto the table again. He gripped the edge of the bed tightly. "You think I purposely went into that room? Did you not see that she devil in there; she child locked her car in order to get me here and then dragged me out of the car," he groaned and closed his eyes. "I'm never going to forget this day, I'm scarred for life."

Naruto laughed, loud and boisterous. "That sweet little thing?" He laughed hard at the look Sasuke gave him. "I suppose looks are deceiving. The cutest girls are always the ones to look out for. It's probably one of the many reasons that turned me off from them." Naruto wiped a stray tear from his eye, a crooked smile working its way on his face. It seemed to have a permanent place on the blond's face. 

"Laugh it up blondie, she doesn't know where you live, nor do you have to ride home with her after this," Sasuke growled. This wasn't what he needed right now. He had perfect confirmation that the doctor was gay, and he hadn't exactly made the best impression on him. "She thinks you're asexual," he finished happily. Only one way to clear out the question.

Naruto looked at Sasuke strangely for a moment, unsure how to take that information. "What made her think that? Usually I get pegged as straight." He chuckled, turning to look at Sasuke full on. "Looks like I'm just disappointing everyone today."

Sasuke smirked. "Well, how about you change that then and I have the perfect way to do so." This time he stood up slowly and made sure that the blood didn't rush to his head. "Dinner, you and me this weekend."

"And who's to say I'm not already attached. Do you really expect a man of my caliber to be single?" Naruto poked Sasuke once again this time square in the chest. His eyes danced in mirth and his smirk broadened. "I practically have to fight both men and women alike off!"

"I'm sure," Sasuke answered. "It seems as though we both have the same problem then and if you were in a relationship, you would've said so already. You don't seem like the type of person who leads someone on like this."

"Oh, I'm hurt! Do you really think I would do something so ill mannered as to lead you on." Naruto dragged his finger down Sasuke's chest, letting it rest just above his navel. "Whatever gave you such an idea?" He tapped his finger into the taut muscle of Sasuke stomach for emphasis. 

Sasuke snorted. "You're not denying or claiming anything and I'd really hate to see a doctor of your degree, who is in a committed relationship, flirting with a patient's friend." He grabbed the finger on his stomach and brought it to his mouth, running his tongue over the pad lightly. "So tell me, who's this awesome guy then?"

"Ah, perceptive aren't we. I think I like that about you." Naruto's eyes traveled the movement of Sasuke's tongue, intent on its every move. "This awesome guy? Oh he's quite awesome, all tall dark and handsome, ya know. Although sort of a bastard, if you give him the chance." Naruto's free hand played with the tip of Sasuke's collar, then moved to rest against his exposed neck and shoulder. "Sadly, I don't know too much about him. We didn't meet too long ago, you see. Although I intend to get to know him quite well, inside and out."

Arching into the touch, Sasuke felt a shiver run through his body. "A tall, dark, handsome bastard huh?" he questioned. He released the grip on Naruto's hand and reached out to thread his fingers through the blond locks. "And how do you intend to get to know this bastard?"

Naruto paused, his thumb stroking over Sasuke's pulse. "I think dinner this weekend would be a good start." He knew he was throwing Sasuke's invitation back at the other man, but he figured it was more fun this way.

"Hm and whose idea was it to have this dinner?" Sasuke asked, his eyes darting up to look at Naruto. He could see the blues eyes dancing in amusement and he really hoped that Naruto wasn't messing with him. He'd deck him in the face if that were the case.

"A little birdie told me?" It was more of a question then a statement, leaving it open for interpretation. Naruto leaned forward, hand clutching Sasuke's collar to pull him closer. "So you free this weekend?" He licked the shell of Sasuke's ear, breathing heavily on it a moment later.

Sasuke's eyes lowered as Naruto's breath fanned over his ear and he hummed lowly in his throat. His nose nudged the side of Naruto's face and he nipped at the doctor's earlobe. "Give me a time and place and I'll be there."

A response was mumbled against Sasuke's throat, Naruto's mouth having traveled down across a pale jaw and towards a slim neck. His tongue flicked out to taste the skin, lips fluttering against Sasuke's pulse as soundless words were spoken.

"How does a good ole home cooked meal sound, at around seven... my place?" Naruto finally said clearly, blue eyes rising up to meet Sasuke's.

Dark eyes fluttered open and Sasuke panted slightly for breath; leave it to Naruto to find his weak spot on the first try. "That sounds good," he answered. His hand brushed against Naruto's cheek, wanting to drag the blond doctor down for a kiss.

Naruto shied away from the kiss, grinning cheekily. "Not so fast, kissing on the job would be unprofessional of me." He couldn't hold back the laugh at the look he received from Sasuke. Swooping down he stole a quick kiss, just simple pressure against each other's lips. It was a teasing contact.

Sasuke huffed and turned his head to the side as Naruto chuckled at him. He was happy though, regardless of Naruto's desire to be professional and it seemed that after the day of hell that he had gone through, things were finally looking up.

He turned back to look at Naruto, wanting to ask him for his address when a picture caught his eye. His eyes widened and blood drained from his face. He reached forward to grip Naruto's white lab jacket as his head bowed and he trained his eyes on the floor.

"I can't do this," he muttered. "This place is out to kill me."

Confused, Naruto whipped his head around coming face to face with a small poster that had been half tacked to the wall. It showcased a breastfeeding baby, sucking away on a very ample breast. The poster was for the benefits of breastfeeding, although Naruto mused that Sasuke wasn't benefiting from it at all.

"You weren't breastfed as a baby were you?" Naruto asked, stroking Sasuke's hair. He should probably take that poster down before he left to check on Sakura. At least that way Sasuke wouldn't have to stare at the floor the whole time.

"I don't know," he croaked. "I never asked my mom and at that age you don't know any better." The hand in his hair was distracting and he felt his shoulder slowly relaxing once more. Hopefully Naruto would take down the poster before leaving, if not, he'd probably find himself curled up on the bed looking at the plain, normal, boring white wall.

A thought crossed his mind and he peeked up at Naruto. "You better hide all your research papers and books when I come over for dinner, unless you want me passing out on you again."

"Point taken. It shall all be hidden away. Now close your eyes." Naruto untangled himself from the other man, moving across the room. The poster was quickly pinned and rolled up; hiding the images away. "Ok, you can open them now."

Sasuke heaved a sigh of relief as a white wall filled his vision and he flopped back down onto the bed. "Thank you," he said softly. The two words spoke volumes for Sasuke, knowing that there was a chance that Naruto wouldn't have handled everything as smoothly.

Naruto smiled, there had to be something oddly ironic about a male Obstetrician finding a possible future boyfriend in an Eurotophobic man. It reminded him of a cat and mouse becoming the best of friends. He would have laughed, but he didn't know if it was a laughing matter.

Instead he shrugged, too intrigued in what would become of this to really care of the hardships. From looks alone, Sasuke was worth the trails and headaches that would surely come.

"Well I better get back to Mrs. Haruno. They are probably waiting for me." Naruto looked shyly at Sasuke. "Wait here and I'll come get you when it's all over. I'll also have directions to my home for you." He smiled, blowing a kiss and left quickly; shutting the door.

Sasuke watched as the door shut, leaving him alone and in silence. He grinned though, thankful that no one was in the room to see his reaction. Not only had he made it through the day with only one tiny mishap, but he also had a date with Naruto.

Take that Sakura; Mrs. 'He could be asexual'.

Sakura. His grin fell from his face and he groaned, falling backwards onto the bed. He stared at the white tiled ceiling above him before covering his face with an arm. If Sakura found out about Naruto, she would never let him live this down. In fact, she would probably use it as an excuse to drag him to the doctor's office for her appointments.

The car ride back was going to be hell.

He continued to ponder the problem, letting the minutes pass before a knock on the door pulled him away from his thoughts. Kakashi poked his head into the room and grinned happily. "Dr. Uzumaki is finished with your friend and asked me to escort you back to the front. He's helping her set up her next check up."

Sasuke nodded and slid off the bed, exiting the room silently. It was a silent walk back to the front of the wing and Sasuke kept his eyes firmly glued to the nurses back, refusing to look anywhere else.

By the time the double doors came into view, he felt the urge to run through them and speed away in Sakura's car. But he rather liked his life and wanted to live. And he still needed to get Naruto's address.

He nodded to Sakura and Naruto as he approached the front desk and the lady behind it gave him an odd look. No doubt she remembered his actions from earlier in the lobby. He glared at her and she turned away with a huff.

"Can we go?" he asked. "Someone owes me...a lot." He turned to Sakura and stared at her blankly.

Naruto grinned widely, looking between Sasuke and Sakura. "Well Mrs. Haruno. Here is the time of your next appoint and your subscriptions to the vitamins you should take. I also added in something that will help with the morning sickness." He turned to Sasuke next, holding out a piece of paper that was clearly from the offices personal note pads, it's address scrawled across the top. "Here's my address. Saturday at seven? I'll have dinner ready." Naruto reaffirmed, loving the way Sasuke's cheeks heated up at the attention.

Sasuke saw Sakura straighten up out of the corner of his eye and he snatched the paper from Naruto's hand. Once the paper was tucked away in his front pocket, he turned to Sakura. "Do you need to pay for anything?" he asked, reaching behind him to grab his wallet from his back pocket. He pulled out a small white card and handed it to Naruto. "I'll be there," he confirmed.

Naruto took the card, deciding to answer the question in Sakura's place. "Nope she's good to go. Took care of all of that while you were still in your safe room," he joked. The card was placed into Naruto's own pocket, keeping it there for safekeeping. "Well I'll be looking forward to this weekend, and I'll be awaiting your next appointment Mrs. Haruno." Naruto smiled at Sakura pleasantly, before adding, "Although I might want to keep this one at home next time. Granted we might have to work on his... unique phobia." Naruto didn't miss Sasuke's scowl.

Knowing he was probably already late for his next appointment, Naruto regrettably began to give his farewells. A profession handshake between Mrs. Haruno and himself, and a less than professional smack on the ass for Sasuke followed by a quick escape. Sakura was left in a fit of giggles.

Face slightly red, Sasuke followed a giggling Sakura out of the hospital. He could see it in her eyes that as soon as the car doors shut. She was going to demand to know everything that had happened in his so called 'safe room'

He quickly checked his pockets, wondering if he had enough money to take a cab or the bus back home but he felt a hand circle around his wrist and he was pushed into the car. Scrambling for the door handle, he tugged it open, only to find the door locked.

' _Damn that child lock._ '

Sakura climbed into the driver's seat and started the engine. "So..."

Sasuke's head thumped against the window. It was going to be a long drive home.

Sakura flashed Sasuke a very familiar slip of folded paper. "Promise to escort me to the remainder of my appointments and this little piece of information gold shall once again be yours." Being a casino dealer to pay for college really did pay off in the long run, Sakura thought smugly to herself. Who knew it could help in pick pocketing.

"But, but," Sasuke sputtered. He wasn't even sure when she had nabbed the slip of paper. He searched his pockets, wondering if maybe she was bluffing but came up empty handed. Glaring at her, he tried to call her bluff. "I can always call his office you know, the number is in the phone book."

"True." She appeared thoughtful for a moment. "Oh look, he wrote something extra in here for you. It says, Sasuke..."

Sasuke lunged for the paper. "Fine!" The paper fluttered into his hands and he cradled the little white slip carefully against his body, determined not to let it out of his sight. "You're an evil, conniving little she devil."

Sakura just grinned. "Why thank you. Keep May twentieth open, I'll be picking you up at two." 

Mind racing, Sasuke calculated the time he had until the date before a grin spread across his face. Between now and May twentieth was enough time to get to know Naruto better. Maybe next time he went to the appointment, they could find better things to do other than talk inside that little safe room of his.

He chuckled as the car pulled onto the highway; maybe Sakura was right. The best way to overcome his fear was through exposure, add in a hot blond and he might be over the phobia in no time.


End file.
